Run Aways

Today seemed like every other day until I returned from taking Madi to school. The garage light was on, doors open, and my younger 2 boys were gone. I'm sure you can imagine the panic running through my head as I went back and forth between thoughts of them playing a trick and hiding or being kidnapped. Neither were true. After 5 minutes of frantic searching and yelling I saw a shadow through the window by the front door... they were standing on the porch debating whether to come inside.

Life for my two middle schoolers has apparently become harder then they wanted to admit or could handle. They told me of their frustration with being overwhelmed in class, not being able to focus on the directions given, and then feeling they would get in trouble at home if they complained. 

My 14yr old had been planning this since Christmas, bringing my 11yr old into the plan in February.  Official plans has begun weeks ago. Geoff had printed maps at school saying, 'you'd be amazed what they let you do on the computer if they think it's for a project.' Water bottles had been filled and placed in the fridge days ago. Survival backpacks had been refilled with blankets, rope, extra clothes, books, CD players, a bag of change, flashlights, and an umbrella.

They planned to head West on their bikes toward Benton City, Prosser, then on to Seattle where they'd clean people's yards to earn money and eventually sell their bikes to purchase plane tickets. The goal was travel to LA, then Florida, New York, and finally Paris. Big dreams unlikely to happen but I have to give them points for planning.

Obviously my little actors had us all fooled that life was okay. We failed in a big way to see how much they were really hurting. Life will be making some big changes. I'm still not sure what changed their minds and made them come back home, they had already made it a few blocks away. I'm just glad they did.

Playing Catch-Up

Back to the story....

Late summer of 2006 there was an article in our local paper about Asperger's that was very poorly done. So of course I wrote them and told them how bad it was and we were quickly asked if our family would be willing to have a reporter & photographer follow us for a month. What an experience that was. One of the best things they recorded was our experience at orientation for middle school. They had no idea that 'A' had any special needs, the guidance counselor even asked if we were at the right school! The elementary had not passed any of his information along and they were clueless. That entire school year was a battle, explaining to the special ed teacher that the novel she read about Autism wasn't as useful as she thought, having one of his teachers trigger a coughing spell that has taken 2 years to stop. Not a year I enjoyed.... but I did gain my Crazy Mom logo because of it! So there is a silver lining.

So now we fast forward 2.5 years to the present. 'A' is now in 7th grade, the middle of middle school, and much more socially aware than he's ever been. I see this as great progress for him, wanting his hair to look good to impress the pretty blond in his class is a new experience. At the same time he's also more aware of what they other kids are saying behind his back and sometimes to his face.

This school year alone he's had death threats left in his PE locker and "Smile, you're special" notes left in his regular locker. He's been attacked 4 times in a week at lunch, had his things stolen, his Science teacher was forced to leave the school after allegations arose, and decided that as long as he's not getting an 'F' his grades are fine. But over the last year or so he's been happier, less anxious, and not as prone to break downs as before.

He's also very notably going through puberty. He's grown 6 inches in 18 months, his voice has gotten a bit deeper, and we've had to renegotiate bathing terms more than once. But, as with other inhibitions and maturity, some levels have not kept up. It's nearly impossible to keep him from dancing naked in the hall between his room and the bath room at shower time. Instead we've gotten better at making sure no one else is in the hall way.

The school is still very limited in their understanding of him. Not once have they followed his IEP by transferring information to the new teachers he has each semester. His principal won't look me in the eye now and his guidance counselor is so panicked she's going to do something wrong that she's never done a thing. 'A' has his favorite speech therapist back this year though, and I'm sure that many of his improvements are thanks to her.

It stuns me sometimes when I look back over the last 14 years and see all that our family has done, been through, survived, and accomplished. I just hope the next 14 years are a little calmer!